happy birthday daddio!

happy birthday to our favorite new 36 year old! he doesn't seem to like this age as he mentioned it at least 5 times over the course of the day. what is it? the backside of our 30s is upon us? i feel like 37, 38 might be harder. then we are officially no longer mid-30s and must start preparing for the big 4-O.

although i don't really care about an age - at least not yet - mostly because i still consider myself anywhere from 18 to 25 most of the time. (i'm sorry but high school could have been yesterday in my crazy head. i could still probably remember my schedule if i had to.) what i do care about - and despise - is the change that age brings to things like your metabolism - but that is a post for a darker day. especially since today was beautiful.

we went outside and picked up twigs for hours. or i should say I picked up twigs for hours. andrew was napping and bridget found a nice rock to sit on and eat her snack. let me tell you, i knew about the obvious maintenance a tree requires and planned on a lifetime of leaf raking misery. what i had no idea about were the twigs. the millions of little twigs that end up on the ground after every windy day, ice storm, snow storm, rain storm and "its just too f'ing cold to hang onto the tree anymore" day. they are everywhere. i can go out today for a few hours and they will still be everywhere. ah, but we have a yard now and we didn't when someone was 35. so i think 36 is pretty good.

woo hoo. happy birthday love!

back on the dating scene

wednesday marked the start of the second session for miss b's music class. and here i am, as erotp put it, back on the dating circuit. the similarities are uncanny.

step 1 - go to a place that is conducive to meeting people. music together. check.

onto step 2 - checking out the other mothers - she looks normal. oh, but she's already dating that mother. hmmm, what about her? not bad. ooh, look what just walked in the door. nice!

next - making eye contact without appearing too interested or desperate. always easiest if your kid or their kid is doing something cute (the "aww" look) or embarassing (the "i've been there sister" look). yes, you can always hope for love at first sight - i first saw her during kookabura and the rest, as they say, is history. aah. good luck with that one - although its been known to happen.

step 4 - generally the hardest - actual conversation. this isn't easy in the music together environment where they take their music seriously. especially when you have a teacher who doesn't understand that you really aren't in the class for your child's musical development. its for ME, woman! don't you shoot me that "shut the hell up" look! if you are lucky you can squeeze in a "she/he's adorable" and hope for the best.

i've yet to get to the final step which is closing the deal. the playdate. i'm not asking anyone out just yet. its a little too scary for a big old wimp like me. we'll see... the thing is, i do realize that mothers love talking to other mothers. its fascinating and therapeutic and you can talk to a stranger for hours about being a parent. i know this. i'm just new to the scene.

there's more though. when you do finally get that first date, you need to proceed with caution. you run the risk of getting a bully's mother - or worse yet, a wimpy kids mother, a "friends too fast, ut-oh, i don't even like you" mother or even a stalker mother. its a scary angst-ridden world out there. you thought getting married was the end of it, didn't you?

depraved new world

are you aware that there are porn blogs? its true. i was shocked. i feel like you are all laughing now - silly girl, of course there are porn blogs. anyway, let me tell you how i know this. i went to my friends new blog and every now and then i am compelled to hit the NEXT BLOG button, so i did.

hello pen!s in my face. and not only my face. lots of faces. in my happy little blogosphere. so my question is, are there porn blogs or is this a renegade spaniard who will be found out and shut down?

wallpaper removal 101

sadly, we are at it again. michael confessed his hatred of the dining room wallpaper so it had to go. believe me, i despise the job so much that i was wondering if he had to go. i mean, the wallpaper wasn't so bad, but michael cooks, so he stays.

i suppose it wasn't so bad, at this point, we are experts. i specialize in the actual wallpaper removal and michael specializes in the glue removal. oh you'd think just taking the wallpaper off was enough but its not. there is a glue residue that has to be scrubbed off the wall. and i really hate that part. the wallpaper is easy sneezy. its all about saturation. complete and utter saturation. then, with the right angle to the scraper, it falls off the wall in cola smelling strips. ha! it does smell like cola though, bleck!

i have no idea why i am boring you with the details of wallpaper removal, most likely because that's ALL WE'VE BEEN DOING THE PAST FEW DAYS. aah, that felt good. okay, bye.

those covers

every night when miss b goes to bed, i have to tuck her in under "these covers." i'm not sure when it started - most likely when she developed her terrifying fear of "heat coming" - but she insists on "these covers" for naps and bedtime. "these covers" are a 5 inch space between her pillows at the very top of her bed. the very top. there are water marks on the headboard from the times when her hair wasn't quite dry after a bath and she pressed her head as high as it would go, so i'm talking all the way up. then you need to "close them" which entails sliding over one of the pillows onto her face so that the only thing visible is her hand over her ear and a mess of hair.

this is weird enough but lately she has told me that she wants to be tucked into "those covers." what? where are those covers? i foolishly ask her, at which point she puts her feet up at the head of her bed and tries to jam them - and her legs - into the 2 inch slot between her headboard and her mattress.

i think she is trying to disappear into her bed. to hide. from the heat.

these scars aren't visible

"are you spitting into your sink?"

b standing over her play kitchen set pretend spitting - "no, i barfing."

"oh"

spitting continues.

this is how we play now.