all i ever needed to know about poker, i learned from kenny rogers

okay, i'm not into the whole poker thing. i've never really played and i think its crazy to watch people play on tv, celebs or not - sorry pk. but i was just flipping through the channels and saw a poker game on espn. i just have to say that it is such crap that these people are allowed to wear sunglasses. isn't that part of the game? aren't you supposed to look your opponent in the eyes, through the eyes and into his soul, to decide if he's bluffing or not? at this point, these corey hart's just need to make sure that they aren't twitching to fool everyone. its so lame. i can't even believe its legal in pokerland.

i guess they're future's so bright, they gotta wear... i can't bring myself to finish the sentence. its too cheesy. who was that anyway? the georgia satelittes? i know they had a little change in their pocket goin' jing-a-ling-a-laing but were things a goin' great, and only getting better?

i have no idea what is wrong with me. i will stop - although i know enough lines of the definite GA satellites song to be embarassed.

and then there was one

i am officially down to one nursing session a day. i dropped the post-dinner feeding tonight and it went surprisingly well. bridgie bear probably thinks its an anomaly at this point and didn't make much of a fuss about it. tomorrow night will be a better test - although knitting class is starting (woo hoo!) and she will be away from home and out of whack.

i can hardly believe that in one week i will not nurse her at all. i was beginning to think that this day would never come but now i am terrified that she isn't going to get enough fluids. i'm sure it will always be something. anyway, someone told me that babies will drink as much as they need so i am just going to have a sippy cup available at all times. its still very scary to me.

the biggest loser kills me. on so many different levels. i don't think i can take it.

gruel world

this is what happens at 5:30 PM when you take NO naps all day.

and i really needed some naps today.

although, look at that chicken and rice - i'd opt for sleep myself. bleck!

sick girl

i woke up last night and knew i was in trouble. on the right side in the way back of my throat was a dry spot. the kind of miserable dry spot that just won't go away no matter how many slugs of water and OJ you take. and then you know you're screwed. but you hope you're not.

so i am screwed. i woke up with the right side of my nose jam packed with god knows what color goo and the now ever present scratchy throat. what is it with the scratchy throat? why is it scratchy? yes, post-nasal drip, i know but i want to know exactly what is going on physically to cause that annoyance. what exactly makes the cells in your throat get hit first and take away the taste of anything and everything. and why can't you wet it down for just a little RELIEF? i absolutely hate being sick and this has been my sickest year - thank you lovey baby. this one though, is courtesy of michael. he was sick as a dog this past week and i thought i dodged the bullet. no such luck.

we are actually pinning this one on my brother's girlfriend who showed up sick to bridget's first birthday. isn't it funny how you have to figure out who gave it to you? or am i the only one? i'm sure that this isn't from miss annie but i spent a large part of today being annoyed thinking about it. i think that i just need someone to focus my misery on. since michael definitely gave this to me, he is the easy target. however, he spent the day making me chicken soup and tea and doing all sorts of great things so i couldn't really be mad at him.

alright, that's it, i'm too weak to go on. ha. actually desperate housewives is on.

World's Fair 2005 - West Springfield, MA

do they still have worlds fairs anymore? are they just not in the US? are they elsewhere in the world? i want to go to one. i want to dress up with my parasol and stroll around the grounds with my extra long peasant skirt and corset. ok, not really, but what happened? they used to build structures for the worlds fair that they were hosting. i remember driving by one specific monument in san francisco and being told that it was built for the sixty-whatever world's fair. world's fair locations are trivial pursuit questions for god's sake, that has to mean something. i guess the big E will have to do. after all, they built the big yellow bumpy slide for it.

bitter tears

so rock star inxs ended last night and the band has picked a new lead singer. i am pretty sure that i am the only person who watched the show. i still remember the first time i saw the commercial for the show and i thought - oh man, that's horrible. can't van halen just go away? and then the name of the show INXS. oy! cannonball to the stomach. now i need to watch the horrible show.

so i watched. they picked the right guy - in my opinion of course - mostly because he was the one who sounded most like michael hutchence. actually, he also deserved to win because he worshipped INXS and you could tell.

all in all though, the show made me really sad. big bloated farrisses all around. kirk pengilly still going with that french spy look from 1930. sad sad. and replacing michael is sad in itself. i guess they still must have music to make but i'm not so sure since post-KICK isn't so good. i'm going to get tickets to the boston show though. at this point i think i have to.

two happy little peas

i'm not sure if you people out there know about peapod but you should. it is the greatest thing ever. a little more great for those of use who have 21 lb children who can't walk and live on the third floor of a building with no elevator. i have been resisting for a long time because i don't want to fork over the $10 for delivery but i just couldn't take it anymore. i mean a person can only take separating their groceries into perishables and nons in the grocery store parking lot and then loading up a stroller so that it looks like a pack mule coming down the street for so long. michael will no longer be sent on runs to the car for the nons when he gets home from work. its worth 10 bucks, right? right. and even more so since i put in my little store card number and up pops a LIST of what i buy. so i just fill in what i need now. i LOVE it. some things about technology are really great.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Party #1

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Party #2 - sparkler candle, not the best idea

t minus 18 hours

tomorrow is the big day. today is the big party. bridget has taken two naps and all systems are go. i hope she doesn't get freaked out by all the people. i'll post pictures of the insane cake that my sister brought from nyc. it looks fake.

i can name that tune in 1 note

paint a vulgar picture. that's the one. we finally broke down and bought the CD - for the 3rd time collectively - in LA and i've been listening to it ever since. i really do love that song. thank you chris b. i still remember the day that she had us come into her house to listen to "a really cool song." girlfriend in a coma. isn't that funny? i remember just standing there next to her parent's stereo. i went out and bought the tape - that's right, tape - and loved it.

the odd thing is that its one of two chris b music memories i have. the first happened MANY years earlier when she was on my soccer team. we were having the end of season soccer pizza party at the pizza shoppe and we hit the juke box. "i like pat benetar, do you? she's cool." uhh yes, she's cool. and then i liked pat benetar. so impressionable.

the road to hell - pt 2

holy crap i am glad i don't drive everyday anymore. nevermind the gas prices, let's talk about the lunatics out there. i had to drive out to newton for dinner with my former co-workers and managed to escape death too many times to count. i just don't have it in me anymore. cut me off, i don't care. drive really really slow in the passing lane - that's right the PASSING lane, get it? - i don't care. switch lanes trying to jockey for position, i don't care. but do not, do not, DO NOT wait until the last minute to cut into the line of ramp traffic that has been there for 20 minutes. that is such a crap move and not because its me you're cutting in on. its crap because you do it every day. i am convinced that road rage is the result of every driver's absolutely bloated sense of self-importance.

i did get to drive through the fast lane and watch 3 men trying to remove a motorcycle from the rear bumper of a ford expedition. the poor bastard managed to wedge the bumper between his abosultely useless little windshield that is attached to the handlebars and the front fender. how can you not notice an expedition in front of you?

that's all for the road rage. dinner was yummy. mexican - and we even had the option to eat outside! no calls from home regarding the crankiest baby in the world. LA seems to have worn off on her and she is rebelling against her birthday.

incidently, i would appreciate it if you didn't wash your windshield while in front of me driving 70+ on the highway.

the road to hell

yes, yes. good intentions. i understand it all now. so i had planned on catching up on the days that i missed while in california a little at a time. i didn't even write any new blogs because my little self-imposed rule was that i had to write the old before the new. what-ever. its just not going to happen. here are the highlights of the LA trip.

1. the LA Zoo. it was really great. it was huge and the animals did not appear to be sedated. the most amazing part was that they had loads and loads of snakes that were MOVING. have you ever seen a snake in captivity move? it was crazy. most of them were slithering around. very cool. bridget loved the hippos the most. (see photo)

2. i almost took marissa tomei's head off with the wheel of our stroller as i sidled out of a mexican restaurant. not really a high point just a celebrity citing - cameron diaz would have been a highpoint. (i just don't like her for some reason.) the best part is that i was so focused on NOT hitting this woman in the head, that i failed to notice whose head it was. and the fact that the head was having dinner with dylan mcdermott. or dermot mulroney. or rupert everett.

3. we befriended a parisian art gallery owner at the pool. c'est bon. oui oui. i am a loser and haven't sent out and email to her yet but will. i swear. gabrielle. she was there with a bunch of her artists from around the world. which explained why a really cute normal looking girl down by the pool was wearing a black t-shirt that said "how YOU doin'?" german.

we also met a small children's bookstore owner from nyc. the parents of a literary agent - for my brother. and a slew of freaks.

freak #1 - woman who looked like she was an old hollywood maven in seclusion at the hotel. she would come down to the pool for coffee and walk really slowly. actually she did everything really slowly. she would turn and look at you and then look away. all in slow motion. bridget would STARE at her and i am pretty sure it freaked her out. damn babies! why is good skin wasted on them?

freak #2 - when plastic surgery goes wrong. in the flesh. the collagen lips that you are certain can't really look like that. they do.

freak #3 - michael and my brother had been calling this woman '82 all week because she looked like a throwback to 1982. i actually never laid eyes on her until breakfast on the last day when she came out of her poolside room and informed us - michael was upstairs and i was on the phone giving my sister directions to rockport, ma. so she really informed my brother - that it was too early to bring a baby down by the pool and the noise was just too much. yes, i'm sorry about the laughing and squealing you crazy biotch. it must be hard to hear sounds of happiness at 8 AM. my brother told her she didn't have to worry about it because we were leaving that day. i was a little bummed that i missed it and didn't get the chance to tell her that i thought she might like a room that wasn't poolside since breakfast was served there - and only there - every day starting at 6. i got over it by pinching bridget's leg causing her to howl in pain for the next half hour. kidding of course but i can dream.

4. a very pregnant carrie ann moss - that's trinity to you - gave michael the head tilt, bottom lip out "she's cute" about miss bridget in a kid clothing store. again, i noticed the belly but not the head.

5. mimosa - last night dinner. it was awesome.

6. tia juanna's - best mexican ever! it was so great.

7. dominic's - affogato. who knew it had a name?! vanilla ice cream with espresso just like at noni's growing up. 8 year olds can enjoy espresso too you know. my brother and i decided that this is the root of the reason why caffeine has no effect on us whatsoever. we can drink double espressos and fall asleep an hour later.

8. kate mantilini's - petite filet sandwich. are you kidding me?

that might be it for now. its all i can remember anyway. i think this must be long anyway at this point.

are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

ok, let's make this quick. the nfl season started about 5 minutes ago and we are ready for the dynasty to be solidified. its obnoxious and i worry a bit about jinxing the pats, but i what can i say? so, technically the season started 3 minutes and 9 seconds ago. how do i know? the evil raiders have scored and the very nice commentators just let me know how quickly it was done.

i really need to go and get control of the remote as my husband is clicking back and forth between the red sox and the patriots and i can't concentrate. i may have to strangle him.

but not before i strangle #84. he is a 2nd year guy who got injured in the first game last year and he apparently doesn't know that after making a great play, the patriots just go back to the line and do it again. its one of the reasons i love this team. its their job. there is no need to spike a football and act like an idiot after doing your job. give it a shot at work tomorrow after handing in that report that you finally finished. YEAH! how you like me now?!

and the red sox are losing 3-0 to the angels. let the strangling commence.

ho hum

today was bridget and my first day without an aunt or uncle of hers to play with. my sister was visiting when we got home on sunday and went back to new york yesterday. it was sad. to make our day even sadder, our wednesday buddies olivia and stacey were MIA. i think that they might be in maine. something about the week of labor day sounds familiar to me. anyway, we muddled through the day. did loads of laundry, paid the bills, went to the park, used up 2 gap gift cards that i got at my baby shower almost a year ago. eek! (stacey, you'll be proud.) i think that's it. i am still a little tired from the trip i think. i am trying to get motivated to fill in the vacation days, it just isn't going to happen quickly i guess.

tomorrow we get to pick up the baby bike seat and helmet. i am beyond excited about it. the helmet has bees all over it. don't worry, i'll strap it on bridget's head and take a picture for all to see.

to alec, love rocco

we signed up for NETFLIX! i can't wait. i have 22 movies in the queue already. i am going to be a movie-watching machine. for the longest time we have wanted to join but didn't trust the people in the building - i guess we are that paranoid - because the mailman won't put the DVD in the mailbox. however, we decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a shot.

the other main reason for our delay of game is that we didn't want to let our local video store guy - rocco - down. he is going to go out of business and we are now a small part of why. even as i write this i don't think i can take it. michael promised me that we will still rent at least 2 movies from him a month. the $8 a month will see him through the hard times, right?

i don't know why i'm worried about him though, he has written the next great screenplay and will be hitting the big time soon. this is what he tells me. i told him that he might want to enter his script into some of the screenplay contests that are out there - it's too good for that - was the reply. he was actually offended that i suggested it. i'll tell you though, it would be a weight off my mind if i didn't have to worry about keeping him afloat.